hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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