ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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