I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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