My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
