you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize