At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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