My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just gift wrapped bread.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
