Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin

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(910): View more from North Carolina

is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?

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(716): View more from New York

once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

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(513): View more from Ohio

Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.

(478): View more from Georgia

I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.

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(813): View more from Florida

She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.

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