My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
