i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
