I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
