was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Actions speak louder than pants.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
