My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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