Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
