Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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