I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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