Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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