Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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