Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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