i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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