Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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