I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
