remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
