I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
