They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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