Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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