her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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