TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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