East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
