i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
