when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
