How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
