So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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