New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
