Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
