check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
