I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
