You're completely useless in the revolution.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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