After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
