i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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