Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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