Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize