I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
