You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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