The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
