all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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