The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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