At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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