is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
