Only a mothe r could love this liver
I love having hate sex.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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