TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
