your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
