my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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