I'm really into asian looking animals
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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