my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
