At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
