There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
