i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
