I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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