For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
