STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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