absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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