What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
